Cold Night and Empty House

             My freedom of moving between home, Joann, Jimmy, Billy, and Livingston continued. I would leave on Fridays after school and hitch hike to Livingston. I would go to see Debbie at Livingston Academy High School. I knew the school because I had attended it as a sophomore, so I would walk right in and make myself at home. Debbie and I would make plans on how we were going to do. I didn’t have transportation so that presented a problem. Often Debbie would go to her best friend Diane’s house, so I could go there to be with her. I would leave when they went to bed, which was usually late,

             I didn’t have anywhere to go when I left. Sometimes I would find Donald. If I didn’t find Donald, then I would find a place to sleep. I had several choices. One was one in my friend’s family rental houses that were empty. I would walk the couple of miles to one of those. They never knew I was sleeping in their houses. If they had, they wouldn't have cared, but would have been upset that I didn’t come and stay with them.

           The houses were never locked, so I could go right in. There was no electric or heat on in the houses. I would huddle in the corner of a room in the dark with my knees pulled up under my chin. This way I could have my legs under my coat to keep warm. This is the way I would sleep. Sleep was often hard to find. I was sick and cold. I thought that I might me found dead in their house when they were showing it to rent. I would eventually fall to sleep from being weak and exhausted. Once I was asleep, I was out, dead to the world. I would wake up cold and stiff.

            At this time in my illness, my breathing was becoming much labored. When I did go home, Mama would check to see is I was still alive if she couldn’t hear me breathing. My breathing had become so loud that it could be heard in the next room.

            My energy level was getting poor. When I was home I would sleep for more that twenty four hours. I was not eating much, I had lost my appetite, and I often had limited access to food. By the time I turned seventeen, I was under a hundred pounds. I was sleeping a lot at school. In study hall I would be asleep within five minutes of going to class. The teacher was understanding and wouldn’t let anyone wake me. Everyone knew I was sick, and we had just lost a class mate to a brain tumor. The teachers would get on to her for having a headache, they though she was faking it. She stop coming to class and died shortly afterwards. So when I got sick, I was treated well at school. It didn’t hurt that I never complained, and my illness was showing up physical.